Why Couples Should Be Talking About Their Feelings

Why Couples Should Be Talking About Their Feelings Relationships Spouses & Partners Print Why Couples Should Be Talking About Their Feelings By Marni Feuerman Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. Learn about our editorial policy Marni Feuerman Updated on February 08, 2020 Frederic Cirou/Getty Images   More in Relationships Spouses & Partners Marital Problems LGBTQ Violence and Abuse As a couple, youre constantly talking about what’s for dinner and plans with friends or family. The day-to-day running of your lives together, particularly if you have kids,?? is often the central focus of your conversations. Talking about these things is necessary, but the most important piece that you should not gloss over is how you feel about whats going on in your life day-to-day. Why Talking About Feelings Helps Couples These deeper conversations are necessary to make the glue that holds you together and creates the intimacy people desire in their marriage. Its critical that you talk about your highs and lows that have been sprinkled throughout your week. These topics may be from outside interactions with others or something specifically between you and your spouse. Both women and men can struggle with sharing feelings, but men?? seem to have a much harder time. Wives frequently complain about the “lack of intimacy” or “connection” with their husbands. And for women, intimacy and connection are what sparks her sexual desire. Therefore, it is worth the effort, guys! Benefits This kind of heart-to-heart communication helps:Keep fights from escalatingPrevent resentment that couples therapists often hear about in their officesIt helps your partner feel empathy and walk in your shoesSet off bonding hormones    Create a deep and meaningful connection with your partnerGet out of having only superficial discussions How to Create More Emotional Intimacy With Your Partner Think about your last few days and ask yourself these questions. Then, sit down and disclose the responses to your partner: Who or what has impacted you?Who or what made you feel good?Who or what disappointed you?What did you learn that is new and what did you like about it?Did you meet anyone new…what did you think about him or her?Did anything happen that scared you…disgusted you…made you think in a different way? Don’t just focus on the facts, but also focus on how you feel about the answers to these questions.  What comes up as you are talking about it with your spouse?  Can you identify a particular feeling such as surprise, joy, sadness,?? anger? How about the tougher ones like rejection, shame or embarrassment? If you are unsure, it’s okay to say that you are not sure how you feel. It’s okay to see if your partner, who may have more of a language for feelings, help you out. You can feel confused or have mixed emotions too. Whatever it is, do your best to describe it. What to Do If You Struggle With Talking About Deeper Topics Some people really struggle to bring up the topics that impact their relationship. This is because it taps into our worst fears about being rejected,?? abandoned or some other dreadful action by our partner. But, like the everyday life topics, it’s not enough to just talk about your thoughts and opinions on the tougher issues (parenting, sex, in-laws, finances and so on). You must also discuss (you guessed it!) how you feel about these topics. When one partner is reactive or avoidant about broaching one of these subjects it is often indicative of something deeper.  Couples must cut through defensiveness,?? escalated anger or shutting down to discuss their underlying “core” emotions. The deeper, core emotions are what keeps a deep and meaningful connection and romantic bond thriving. It also prevents on-going negative patterns of communication. For instance, if you feel I can never please her or Im not important to him, this may be what sets one of you off into reactivity over your differing points of view things like how to spend your money, frequency of sex or the amount of time spent with the in-laws.   It is much more productive  to express real feelings instead of giving the silent treatment, carrying a grudge, getting passive-aggressive, or yelling. Furthermore, it is much easier for your partner to respond to these core tender emotions. It is a win-win for you both.   Long-term successful relationships are built on taking these risks with our partners.

Does Jerrys Medical Training Qualify Him to Issue the Refill Order Free Essay Example, 750 words

Once the Doctor is back from the lunch break, Jerry ought to provide the order to him so that it can be filled as soon as possible (Fremgen, 2008). In this case, both the doctor and Jerry are liable for the act of medical negligence. Precisely Jerry would be charged since he is not protected from any charges under the doctrine of respondent superior. The doctor, on the other hand, is likely to be accused on the charges of medical malpractice since he lets Jerry perform duties that he is not authorized to perform. The policy of respondent superior affirms that if a member of staff commits a mistake that the employer is accountable since they are for all time responsible for the proceedings of their workers. The best advice to offer to Jerry is to let the patient know that he does not have the qualifications to give out any medical prescription regardless of the condition of the patient. Jerry should further explain to the patient he is willing to take the prescription refill as a mes sage and pass it to the doctor as soon he gets back from the lunch break. We will write a custom essay sample on Does Jerrys Medical Training Qualify Him to Issue the Refill Order or any topic specifically for you Only $17.96 $11.86/page In cases where Dr. Williams is not available, Jerry ought to consult another doctor who is qualified to refill prescriptions, by doing that, Jerry avoids any legal complications and medical malpractices. He also risks exposing Dr. Williams to the risk since it s the role of the doctor to ensure that Jerry works in the fields that he is specifically qualified.

Mark Twains Belief that the Real Descent of Human...

Mark Twain theorizes that man is in fact the so called â€Å"lower animal† and has descended from a single atom to insect to animal from a long line of innocence. The lowest stage would be reached and would become known as the human being. Twain counter argues the popular theory of Darwinism which could be considered controversial. However, he conducted experiments using the scientific method to provide evidence to his claim: the principle of human morality, as disputed in â€Å"The Damned Human Race†, has seemingly not evolved to the same extent of the morals of what he believes to be the â€Å"higher animals†. Moral sense as defined by Twain is the quality that enables wrong doing. Without this this â€Å"sense† man would not be capable of doing wrong.†¦show more content†¦Man is once again viewed as cruel. His morals are inhumane in the way that the infliction of pain is for pleasure. Twain’s â€Å"higher animals† are unaware of others suffering. The cat for example; she plays with the mouse before making it her meal. She is oblivious that the mouse is frightened. Although she plans to eat it, she does not torture it in the manner than man would. Her unconsciousness to the morality of killing makes her innocent. Man is not innocent. Despite popular belief, Twain’s use of experimentation and observation proves that man is ultimately not a reasoning animal (Twain, 674). Throughout history religion has caused controversy among many due to its diversity. The difference in opinions of man occasionally leads to death. As Twain puts it, â€Å"He [man] is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself, and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight.†(674). Religion has also been known to go hand in hand with morality; a generalization that without a belief in a god, come no morals. A cat and a dog were put in a cage and within an hour they had gotten past their differences and were capa ble of coexistence. Within the next hour, a rabbit was added to the cage with no problem. As two days come to pass, the variety of small animals were able to peacefully cohabit: including a fox, a squirrel, doves, a goose, and even a monkey. In a next cage, nine men were confined. Each man retained a different background than the next. AsShow MoreRelatedA Mirror For A Flawed Society2115 Words   |  9 Pagesa mirror as a method of inspiring self-change. And the creative minds of today take a page from Mark Twain, one of the best and most prolific users of satire in his many published works. In Twain’s post-Civil War American novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, he purposely creates characters with disillusions order to satirize human nature as man often fails to reflect on his everyday flaws, beliefs, and behaviors. Romanticism An attraction to Romanticism causes a person to act—and therefore appear—

Paper of dream Free Essays

Professor Jarvis The Dream Freud believed the dream to be composed of two parts, the manifest and the latent content. The manifest content can be thought of as what a person would remember as soon as they wake and what they would consciously describe to someone else when recalling the dream. That’s all the stuff that literally happens in the dream. We will write a custom essay sample on Paper of dream or any similar topic only for you Order Now Freud suggested that the manifest content possessed no meaning whatsoever because it was a disguised representation of the true thought underlying the dream. The latent content holds the true meaning of the dream, and the forbidden thoughts and the unconscious desires. These appear in the manifest content but will be disguised and unrecognizable. Although in rare cases the manifest and latent content can be indistinguishable. Freud believed that the latent content of dreams is suppressed and hidden by the subconscious mind in order to protect the individual from thoughts and feelings that are hard to cope with. By uncovering the hidden meaning of it, Freud believed that people could better nderstand their problems and resolve the issues that create difficulties in their lives. I dreamed that once I was an older man playing in the major leagues and was on my way to the hall of fame when all of a sudden while I was taking a flight to the particular area where my game was held the plain had a tragic crash. Freud insisted that dreams are a form of fulfilling suppressed wishes. If a wish goes unsatisfied during the dreamer’s normal day, the mind reacts to this ‘internal stimuli’ by transforming it into a visual fantasy, allowing the dreamer to satisfy his or her esire. The result of which is a peaceful night’s sleep. This makes me think that the concept of Freud’s theory is accurate because of the way the content worked when I woke up and how my thoughts worked. I was so scared but was understanding by how the dream worked. Freud’s theory is completely valid because it makes sense when we fall asleep and your curtains are drawn, the dream acts as a protector to you. It calms the mind and relates to your thought and wishes and doing bad or good things while you are asleep. Freud’s work was solely concerned with nternal stimuli. Essentially, for a person to continue to sleep undisturbed strong negative emotions, forbidden thoughts and unconscious desires have to be disguised or censored in some form or another. Otherwise, confronted by these, the dreamer would become distressed and they would eventually wake up. Therefore the dream, if understood correctly, could lead to a greater understanding of the dreamer’s subconscious. During my dream I felt very special but the night that I fell asleep I was in a stressed mood and anger was drawn in my veins. It seemed as if the dream acted as a barrier as Freud states in his theory, I woke up feeling like a new person and it comtorted me. While the plane was talling in my dream I nad a weird feeling before that I couldn’t believe the certain tragedy was about to happen but waking up and knowing I was alive changed my whole aspect of looking towards life. Freud makes me thing of when I fall asleep what dream I have a what I can do to notice what is wrong with me or what problem is running through my mind. If I have mental dream with violence I will be able to state my well being and know what wrong with me. I can help get therapy for a certain bad dream I had and why it took place. I completed agree with Freud’s theory and will take it step by step each dream. We have learned many things in this analysis of Freud. We have discussed the importance of Freud’s dream content theory and what their meanings include. Over the course of study in Structure of Mind and Behavior, we have learned about mental and psychological histories and incidents that relate to Freud’s dream theory in a eneral way. How to cite Paper of dream, Papers

Kafka Essays - Absurdist Fiction, Modernist Literature, Novellas

Kafka And Reality Of Change The Reality of Change What is reality? Every person has his or her own"reality" or truth of their existence. For some it may be a dead-end job due to their lack of education while to others it may be the carefree life of a successful person. The true reality of any situation is that whatever direction is chosen in life a person brings the same inner self, motivational levels and attitudes. Unless they are willing to change the way they perceive and react to a situation they are forever trading one set of problems for another. As readers of literature we too seek to escape our "reality" and experience life through an author's imagination while gaining valuable knowledge about ourselves. In Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis, the nature of Gregor Samsa's reality changes insignificantly in spite of his drastic physical changes. Gregor's life before the metamorphosis was limited to working and caring for his family. As a travelling salesman, Gregor worked long, hard hours that left little time to experience "life." He reflects on his so-called life acknowledging the "plague of traveling: the anxieties of changing trains, the irregular, inferior meals, the ever changing faces, never to be seen again, people with whom one has no chance to be friendly" (Kafka 13). Gregor, working to pay off his family's debt, has resigned himself to a life full of no pleasures only work. Kafka himself paralleled this sentiment in a quote taken from his diaries noting that no matter how hard you work "that work still doesn't entitle you to loving concern for people. Instead, you're alone, a total stranger, a mere object of curiosity" (Pawel 167). Gregor submerges himself in work and becomes a stranger to himself and to life. Any type of social contact beyond porters, waitresses or bartenders was non-existent. He had once met a "cashier in a hat shop, whom he had pursued earnestly but too slowly" (Kafka 76). There was no room in Gregor's life for people other that his family and as a result was condemned to a life without love or caring not to mention basic companionship. He worked diligently to provide for his family and that remained his only goal in life. Gregor's family relied on him to be the"breadwinner" of the family, but gave him nothing in return. The life that he had led until now was one fully of obligations and loneliness; he came home to empty hotel rooms or his apathetic family. His parents and "their dominance thus extends to the system which deprives him of creative life and married love" (Eggenschwiler 54). So concerned with ensuring his parents and sister were taken care of, he forgot his own needs. It was apparent to everyone that he was no longer thought of as a son or an extension of the family, but merely as a"support system." The tragic fact is that "everyone had grown accustomed to it, his family as much as himself; they took the money gratefully, he gave it willingly but the act was accompanied by no remarkable effusiveness" (Kafka 48). It appears that in the course of his hectic work schedule, he overlooks that in return for dedication to his family, he remains unloved and unappreciated. Yet Gregor still "believed he had to provide his family with a pleasant, contented, secure life" (Emrich 149), regardless of how they treated him. Gregor's existence before the metamorphosis was much like after it; limited to work and family, he went unnoticed by both. After changing into a cockroach one night, Gregor is forced to live a life of isolation with a family who is appalled by him. He is placed in a "dark bedroom, in the jumble of discarded furniture and filth" a " monstrous vermin, a grotesque, hidden part of the family" (Eggenschwiler 211). Shock and terror, resulting in Gregor being locked away, marked his family's reaction to his metamorphosis. His sister is the only one that, while frightened, would tend to Gregor's room and meals. She even took the responsibility so far as to get angry with anyone who wanted to help. Gregor was not allowed any contact or association with the family and "no one attempted to understand him, no one, not even his sister, imagined that he could understand them" (Kafka 45). So Gregor was left to occupy his time, alone, and contemplate the situation he had been thrust into. He was coming to realize that through his metamorphosis he had not lost anything. He had simply moved from one

Definition and Examples of Maxims

Definition and Examples of Maxims Maxim, proverb, gnome, aphorism, apothegm, sententia―all of these terms mean essentially the same thing: a short, easily remembered expression of a basic principle, general truth or rule of conduct. Think of a maxim as a nugget of wisdom―or at least of apparent wisdom. Maxims are universal and testify to the commonality of human existence. It is often difficult to tell whether a maxim means something, or something means maxim.   -  Robert Benchley, Maxims from the Chinese Maxims, you see, are tricky devices. As Benchley suggests in his comic chiasmus, they generally sound pretty convincing at least until a contrary maxim comes along. Look before you leap, we say with conviction. That is, until we remember that he who hesitates is lost. Examples of Dueling Maxims English is full of such contrary proverbs (or, as we prefer to call them, dueling maxims): The bigger the better / Good things come in small packages.Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. / One mans meat is another mans poison.Birds of a feather flock together./ Opposites attract.Actions speak louder than words. / The pen is mightier than the sword.Youre never too old to learn. / You cant teach an old dog new tricks.All good things come to those who wait. / Time and tide wait for no man.Many hands make light work. / Too many cooks spoil the broth.Absence makes the heart grow fonder. / Out of sight, out of mind.Its better to be safe than sorry. / Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As William Mathews said, All maxims have their antagonist maxims; proverbs should be sold in pairs, a single one being but a half truth. Maxims as Strategies But then, we might ask, what is the nature of proverbial truth? In his essay Literature as Equipment for Living, rhetorician Kenneth Burke argued that proverbs are strategies designed for dealing with situationsfor consolation or vengeance, for admonition or exhortation, for foretelling. And different situations call for different proverbs: The apparent contradictions depend upon differences in attitude , involving a correspondingly different choice of strategy . Consider, for instance, the apparently opposite pair: Repentance comes too late and Never too late to mend. The first is admonitory. It says in effect: Youd better look out, or youll get yourself too far into this business. The second is consolatory, saying in effect: Buck up, old man, you can still pull out of this. ( The Philosophy of Literary Form, 3rd edition, Louisiana State University Press, 1967) Maxims in an Oral Culture In any event, the maxim is a handy device, especially for people in predominately oral culturesthose that rely on speech rather than writing to pass along knowledge. Some of the common stylistic features of maxims (features that help us remember them) include parallelism, antithesis, chiasmus, alliteration, paradox, hyperbole  and ellipsis. The Rhetoric of Aristotle According to Aristotle in his Rhetoric, the maxim is also a persuasive device, convincing listeners by conveying an impression of wisdom and experience. Because maxims are so common, he says, They seem true, as if everyone agreed. But that doesnt mean that all of us have earned the right to use maxims. Theres a minimum age requirement, Aristotle tells us: Speaking in maxims is appropriate to those older in years and on subjects of which one is experienced, since to speak maxims is unseemly for one too young, as is storytelling; and on matters in which one is inexperienced it is silly and shows lack of education. There is an adequate sign of this: country folks are most inclined to strike maxims and readily show themselves off. ( Aristotle On Rhetoric : A Theory of Civic Discourse, translated by George A. Kennedy, Oxford University Press, 1991) Finally, we might keep in mind this bit of proverbial wisdom from Mark Twain: It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.

Evernotes Beat Buhlmann How I became the CEO of my own life

Evernotes Beat Buhlmann How I became the CEO of my own life Evernote's Beat Buhlmann: "How I became the CEO of my own life" Beat Buhlmann is the General Manager of Evernote EMEA. With ten years of life management coaching under his belt, he decided to write a book about personal development planning and how it can help people manage their work goals and personal lives simultaneously. His book, Become the CEO of Your Own Life, was published earlier this year, an achievement that Beat credits in part to two time-saving friends to authors: Evernote and Reedsy. Read on to learn how these two tools came into play during the writing process, and to learn more about Beat's strategies for taking control of personal and career development.How did you get started on writing your new book, Become the CEO of Your Own Life?Working so intensively in the field of life management coaching was not my plan when I set out to start my career after graduation. As I began working, I quickly realized the importance of distinguishing between people management and business management. I also realized the importance of allowing an d encouraging individuals to accomplish goals not only professionally, but also in their personal lives - both parts are important if you want to create an environment of trust in the workplace.However, in today’s rapidly changing and hectic workplace laden with distractions and constant overload, managing one’s own life can be a challenge. To this end, I created a personal development plan (PDP) called the Swiss PDP Approach ®. For several years, I coached companies such as Dell, Google, and Evernote implement the Swiss PDP Approach ® to support their teams’ efforts to combine and align private and business life in an effective and meaningful manner. In today’s workplace laden with constant overload, managing one’s life can be a challenge. The Swiss PDP Approach ® is a simple approach but it works well, and I was getting increasingly more requests from Google managers around the world to hold people development training sessions for their teams. However, there came a point when I could no longer keep up with the demand - I still had a full-time job. I ended up having to to say â€Å"no, sorry† to many people, which was a difficult task, as turning down meaningful opportunities went against my inner beliefs. The first person whose request I declined was Matt Brittin, EMEA President at Google. It was Matt who encouraged me to write a book to share and spread my Swiss PDP Approach ®. So I did.What is the Swiss PDP Approach ® and how can it be applied to writers?One of the key elements of the Swiss PDP Approach ® is its non-silo approach. Far too often, people raise a wall between their private life and their work life (creating two silos). However, that does not make sense - what happens in your private l ife has an impact on your work life and vice versa. Therefore, I suggest a holistic, integrated view, as you can see in the following diagram: One of the main parts of the Swiss PDP Approach ® is about getting to know yourself, and I believe this is a vital step for any author looking to write a book, whether fiction or nonfiction. The following image shows you the three steps of the Swiss PDP Approach ®, the objective of each step, and who should support you: How did writing your book in Evernote affect your writing process?How do you write a book nowadays? How do you manage the vast amount of resources, literature, ideas, chapters, etc.? I can truly see the difference in the writing process between my first book, published 12 years ago, and my current one: Evernote. Evernote has been a game changer for me - it’s saved me so much time. Every idea, article, book, video, and audio recording is kept in Evernote and synchronized across all my devices. Having everything in one place allowed me to write whenever and wherever I wanted, whether it be commuting on the train, waiting at the airport, or during a flight.As the biggest challenge I faced while writing was finding the time, Evernote helped me jump a huge hurdle. I have a full-time job, I have a family, and I am a part-time EMBA professor at various universities. Finding the time to write was not easy, but thanks to Evernote, I could write during every opportunity I had: no matte r where or when, my book draft was always with me. My  biggest writing challenge was finding time. Evernote let  me write whenever/wherever I wanted. How did using Reedsy impact your book?When I was contacted by Reedsy  about a potential partnership, I first wanted to get to know the product better. As I was in the process of writing my second book, I started by using the Reedsy Book Editor to finish writing my manuscript. I took a liking to its  simple user interface and its marketplace for finding professional editors and designers.As my book is a practitioner’s book, I needed editors who could not only check for grammar and spelling errors, but also make sure that the book was clear and easy to understand. Being a non-native English speaker, it was important for me to not work with an editor who would simply rewrite everything. Yes, a native English speaker might formulate a sentence differently than me, but so what?  I wanted the book to be authentic and to sound like me. I stand for 100% quality and it is important to me that I write the books myself. Finding editors who ensured quality while maintaining my voice as an author was a great experience. I may be a non-native English speaker, but I still wanted the book to sound like me. I believe that everyone should do a PDP from time to time. If not, you run the risk of always going with the flow and being influenced or distracted by what is currently â€Å"cool.† Becoming the CEO of your own life requires you to invest time, and to engage in deep thinking and self-reflection. Try to enjoy the process, and remember that when it comes to your personal development, the results are in your hands! Becoming the CEO of your own life requires time,  deep thinking and self-reflection.